Harley Har Har
by Merlin Missy
Summary: A PC challenge story involving a motorcycle.  It's supposed to be dumb.


Harley Har Har  
byMerlin Missy  
Copyright 1995, 2001

Paramount owns the whole works. This is but a meager foray into their  
universe, into which I do not deserve existence. Or something. Enough  
groveling. This was a challenge story. It's supposed to be dumb.

* * *

"What did you call this ... thing again?" He walked around  
the contraption, wondering how he was going to get out of this.

"A motorcycle. Ancient Earth vehicle, from back when we were  
using up all of the planet's fossil fuels." Beverly wiped a spot  
off the chrome.

"All right. I'll bite. How in the name of Kolker did you  
ever encounter one?"

"Weeeell, I could tell you that Nana rode one of these every  
day of her life." She glanced over at him. "But I doubt you'd  
believe me. Actually, there was a friend of mine at the Academy  
who restored old vehicles like this. We used to go out riding  
together all the time, once I learned the basics. _There's_  
someone I'd like to look up again." She sighed, nostalgia on her  
face. He felt a twinge inside; this was a part of her life she had  
not even mentioned to him before. "There's nothing quite like the  
wind in your hair." She smirked. "The bugs in your teeth. The  
holodeck can't quite replicate the feeling, but it comes close  
enough to remind me of the good old days.

"And you did promise."

He sighed. This was what he got for forgetting her birthday  
until the actual morning.

"So how do we ... What do we do with it anyway?"

"We ride." She climbed on the machine, sitting astride it as  
if on some bizarre breed of horse. She slid forward on the seat,  
then patted it. "Coming?"

Now he knew why she'd told him to wear comfortable clothes.  
Gingerly, he tried to imitate her maneuver, and found himself  
pressed up against her back. His arms fell uselessly to his sides.

"You have to hold on to me, or you're going to break your  
neck." He slid his arms around her. She jumped. "A little lower,  
if you would. I don't think you want me to get that distracted."

Embarrassed, he shifted his arms lower. This brought her  
closer, and now _he_ was getting distracted. Beads of perspiration  
began to form on his forehead, as his pulse shot up dangerously  
high. He wondered how long this was going to take before he could  
politely make a hasty exit to his quarters.

"Hang on," she said, and moved her wrists. The beast roared  
to life, and he instinctively held tighter to her. They began to  
move forward. Fascinated beside himself, he watched the way her  
arms moved in synch with her feet, as they moved faster.

The holodeck had been programmed to show a lonely highway in  
mid-afternoon. The scenery zipped by them. Jean-Luc could not  
ever remember feeling this light headed. He pressed his face into  
her hair, which had been drawn back so as not to blow everywhere.  
Exhilaration filled him.

He noticed, sadly, that they were slowing down. She pulled to  
a stop and turned around.

"So what do you think?"

"That was ... breathtaking." He wasn't just referring to the  
motorcycle. She smiled.

* * *

The happiness in his eyes told Beverly all she needed to know.  
He had enjoyed himself, had loosened up enough not to notice that  
his arms still encircled his waist.

However, he _had_ forgotten her birthday. She smiled sweetly  
at him. "Now it's your turn."

"My turn?"

"Mmhmm. Switch places." Before he could object, she had  
slipped away from his grasp and walked behind him. He slid forward  
just enough, and she sat down.

"Beverly, I don't think this is such a good idea."

"You're not afraid, are you Jean-Luc? The holodeck safeties  
will protect you." She didn't mention what they both knew: the  
safety protocols on the holodeck always went out at the worst  
times.

"Of course not. Are you ready?"

Time to slide her arms around _him_. She reached over, took  
a firm hold, and said "Ready."

He turned his wrists the way she had, and the motorcycle  
purred. The computer pulled the scenery by slowly, gaining speed  
as Jean-Luc acted more comfortable.

They reached a decent speed, and the computer-generated wind  
made her heart light. She laughed and held him tighter. He  
smiled, then revved it faster, hugging the highway's curves as  
close as she was holding him. He turned his head to say something  
to her. This was a mistake.

The motorcycle veered with him, running off the road and into  
a large rock at the side. Within seconds, the bike was twisting  
upwards and Beverly found herself suspended in midair as the  
holodeck safety program barely saved her from several broken bones.  
She drifted downwards, then fell the last meter as the safety  
switched off. She landed hard on her bottom.

For a moment, she sat where she was, wondering how much damage  
she'd done to her tailbone and how she would explain it to her  
staff. She'd been on the holodeck with Jean-Luc and things had  
gone badly? Jean-Luc. She could just imagine his face when he saw  
her in this position. She slowly got to her feet.

"Jean-Luc?" She walked over to the now-decrepit motorcycle.  
Jean-Luc was nowhere to be seen. She was getting worried. "Jean-  
Luc!"

"Over here." His voice came from behind another large rock.  
She hurried over. He was sitting on the ground much as she had  
been.

"Are you all right?" She knelt down to check for broken  
bones.

"I'm fine. Merely bruised my pride, is all." He grimaced.  
"I feel like such an ass."

"Why?"

"You talked about how much fun you'd had with your Academy  
friend. I guess that I wanted to show you ... " He couldn't  
finish.

"You wanted to show off."

He nodded, looking miserable. "I suppose you'll want to go  
look him up now so that you can ride with someone who at least  
knows what he's doing."

"Oh, I probably will. I'm not sure I should introduce the two  
of you, though."

"I understand." She saw the sadness on his face and decided  
her minor revenge had been taken.

"I know how you distracted you get around women with red  
hair." He looked up. "Pity, too. I think you and Kimba would get  
along just fine. Computer." **_Tweedlesquirge_**. "End program  
Harley."

* * *

The End

* * *


End file.
